In today’s world, the power of social media cannot be underestimated. It has revolutionised how we connect, share, and build communities. But as much as it empowers, it can just as easily destroy. More often now, social media has become a stage for betrayal, where private pain is paraded for public entertainment, and the betrayal often comes from those closest to us.
Take the case of Pascal Tokodi and Grace Ekirapa. In late 2023, their once-celebrated marriage hit turbulence. What could have remained a private matter between two adults was laid bare by someone close to them, allegedly a friend. The leak triggered a flood of online commentary, with internet “in-laws” offering unsolicited opinions, accusations, and judgment. Instead of finding space to heal, the couple was subjected to public scrutiny and shame.
Then came Anerlisa Muigai, entrepreneur and Keroche Breweries heiress. In May 2024, she reached out privately to a friend, seeking help during a difficult moment involving her fiancé’s arrest. That friend turned around and shared her message with the media. What was meant to be a cry for support was twisted into headlines. She later took to social media to publicly call out the betrayal.
And then came Eliud Kipchoge, Kenya’s iconic marathoner. On February 11, 2024, the world was shaken by the sudden death of fellow marathoner Kelvin Kiptum in a car crash. In the weeks that followed, Kipchoge shared his heartbreak—but what cut deeper was learning that people he trained with, people from his own camp, were spreading false narratives tying him to the tragedy. “I can’t even trust my own shadow,” he said in a televised BBC interview aired in May 2024. When the betrayal comes from your circle, the wound is sharper.
And just recently, on July 1, 2025, actor Tyler Mbaya, better known as Baha, found himself in the same trap. Private videos of him were leaked online, allegedly by someone close to him. Instead of hiding, Baha came out boldly, saying the experience stripped away his fears and gave him a strange kind of confidence. But behind the public strength, there was a human side: the worry about how his daughter would one day process it all. He was forced to turn pain into power, but the betrayal, once again, came from inside the circle.
When Friends Hurt You
These stories are not isolated. They reflect a growing problem: the breakdown of trust and the erosion of boundaries, especially in the digital age.
Personally, I’ve felt the sting of friendship’s illusions. In 2022, when I released a book, many friends promised to buy it. They celebrated the announcement with applause emojis and warm words, congratulatory messages and affirmations of support. But when the book finally hit the shelves, they disappeared. The promised support never materialised.
Then in 2023, I lost my father. Grieving, I reached out to around twenty people- individuals who had been through similar, sometimes even more painful situations, and for whom I had shown up when life was unforgiving. These were people I genuinely considered good friends. I had been there for them emotionally, financially, and in every way that mattered. The list could’ve been longer, but I kept it small, just twenty who I believed would show up for me, too. Only five responded. The rest ignored the call. The silence was louder than words.
Lessons from Loss
These experiences taught me something we don’t often admit: we confuse acquaintances, peers, colleagues, and true friends. Not everyone in your circle is in your corner.
My late father had only two true friends—bonds built during childhood. One drifted away, only to return at age 70, and the other remained steadfast until the day they both passed in their 80s. Watching that friendship taught me something powerful: true friendship is cultivated slowly, nurtured through time and tested by trials. It is not loud, not transactional, and definitely not performative.
So, what does real friendship look like? It is safe. It is quiet. It is consistent. It allows space for vulnerability and mistakes without fear of exposure or exploitation. And above all, it’s not rooted in convenience but in care.
Redefining Friendship in a Digital World
We live in a time when every misstep can be recorded, every message screen-captured, and every moment monetised. In this landscape, the idea of friendship demands a reassessment. Who really walks with you? Who celebrates you without competition? Who can hold your secrets without turning them into clickbait?
Approach friendships with openness, yes—but also with discernment. Don’t expect too much. Give without counting. But also, don’t ignore the red flags. People who constantly take but never show up when it counts aren’t friends—they’re opportunists.
It’s not bitter to learn these lessons. It’s human. It’s necessary.
As for me, I’m still learning what friendship really means. But here’s what I know for sure: some of the most dangerous predators don’t hide in dark corners—they sit beside you, smiling.
Take stock of your circle. Reevaluate your relationships. Protect your peace. Because in a world where everyone wants content, your pain should never be someone else’s currency.
Last Word
True friendship is tested not by how loudly they cheer in your success, but how quietly they show up in your silence – betrayal is when the cheers vanish and the silence becomes a stage.
